The Same
by craziunderurbed999
Summary: This was the girl Gale loved. He never thought she would be taken away from him. KatnissxGale, PeetaxKatniss. Rated T for a little cursing.


There were plenty of them. Girls who paid me any attention, I mean. But out of all of them, she was the only one whom I cared about. Whenever I stopped to think about it, it had become clear to me this one thing: I loved her.

Before I met her, I never thought there had been anyone who was just so much like me. We were Seam kids, her and I, and we were survivors. We fought, and we won, and not matter how much we were knocked down, we always got back up. But I never knew that a girl who could shoot so skillfully with a bow and arrow and had a mind for herself could be so god damn beautiful. Long, thick, black hair framed a beautifully-shaped face that was created by delicate features; grey eyes that had evidently seen so much bored right in to mine. She made it clear that life was no walk in the park, but yet she tried and fought, and she was a fighter. Just like me.

She was my Katnip.

And then, all of a sudden, he showed up out of nowhere.

I knew that bad things happened in life, but what had happened to her that one day, the Reaping...that saying just didn't cut it. Katniss was a tribute, she took Prim's place, and there was nothing I could do about it. I could still curse the Capitol when nobody was listening, but that would never do anything. And I didn't know if I could accept it. Dark bags formed under my eyes after a sleepless night, and at night, I'd stare up at the ceiling, and a part of me, no matter how cruel this might sound, wished that Prim had been the tribute and Katniss had been allowed to stay here. If it was an option, I would have not watched the Games, but it was the law, so instead of fucking off in to the room that I shared with my siblings, I turned on the television and simply watched.

I didn't think anything of that other boy who was called on to the stage with my Katnip, that other bastard. 'Peeta Mellark' was called, but I thought nothing of it. I just looked at that boy with the blond hair and the blue eyes, who, evidently by his hair color and complexion wasn't a Seam boy and came from the richer part of District 12, and I didn't think of anything. I just thought of how Prim was called and how unbelievable it was that in the end my love had ended up with the chances against her. I said my prayers to the God I didn't believe in and prepared to watch the girl I loved have her blood splattered all over the ground on live television. Truly, I was so fucking depressed for that long time that she was gone that my mom didn't want me to do anything that would remind me of Katniss, but of course, I had a heavy refusal and fucked off in to the woods, where I would shoot my usual load and then stay staring at the canopy overhead for hours at a time, unable to even cry.

And then that day came when he was being interviewed by Caesar Flickerman. To be honest, I really didn't give a flying fuck about any of the interviews aside from Katnip's, but I paid good attention to his anyway. Me and my family were eating a meal as we watched television, and I was on the floor choking when I heard the words escape his mouth. 'Because she came here with me.'

After that I fucked off and slept in the woods for the rest of the night, all of the little machinery in my mind trying to sort through all the letters and words jumbled completely, and I wasn't able to go asleep for a long time afterward. There were several fantasies I had about throwing knives at the boy who said that about my Katnip, but I figured that'd be follish considering the fact that Katnip was never a very romantic person and he'd probably have to face her rejection, anyway. _And besides, _I concluded, _this is probably all just an act, anyway. Just an act set up to make everything more entertaining. _But I concluded wrong.

There was this part of me that knew it was different, that perhaps, he did have some feelings for Katniss. But I ignored this slight thought in the back of my head no matter how much it nagged me. I really didn't understand the thoughts going through my mind, because, instead of having one opinion and one side chosen, there was like six sides that I chose. First there was an option that was the most fortunate - that it was all just an act. Next there was the possibility that it was true - he loved her, but she didn't love him in return. Then there was the possibility that it had just been a fragment of my imagination, and I was just so troubled and upset because of Katniss being a tribute that my mind wasn't functioning properly. And then, of course, there was the possibility that they would have a relationship, but it would be like most relationships and end up a failure. There was a whole bunch of options after that, but the one that I considered but tried not to think about was the possibility that Katniss did love Peeta back and their love life would actually be a success...

...So of course it was a relief to me when I saw Peeta teaming up with the others, trying to eliminate Katniss. Of course, I wanted to slit his throat at that moment, but I found it better for him to be an enemy of my love than to want to be romantically involved with her. But of course, all those sighs and thoughts of relief were flushed away, too, abruptly and horribly. It eventually became evident to me that it was all true - Katniss _did _love Peeta, and my only hope now was that their relationship didn't last. But I think my heart deteriorated completely when they were kissing in that cave; I didn't think Katnip would kiss anybody just for an act.

And worry turned to misery, which eventually turned in to enragement.

_How could he? _I think. _How fucking dare that piece of shit even think of letting Kat kill herself! That little fuck! _And I had myself a hatred of Peeta. Especially when the Capitol became involved in the matter and I became Katniss' 'cousin' for protective reasons. Apparently the good ol' jolly Capitol had this little theory that it was all an act, their love. Nothing felt right anymore, and I felt nothing would ever be the same again. So there it goes. Katniss would end up with Peeta forever now, whether she loved him or not. There goes my whole future with her. I would spend the rest of my life as her 'cousin'.

I still had this optimistic idiot in my head saying that maybe, just maybe, Katniss didn't love Peeta, and it was possible for her and I to have a relationship in private. But of course, I was dead wrong. That kiss we shared, it didn't mean anything to her. And after the Capitol fell, it still didn't mean anything at all. She still wanted to be with him, and in the end, it became clear to me that I would never end up with Katnip.

Every day for years now, I end up being this huge whirlwind of patheticness, a self-pitying fool. I stare in to space every day and think of just how unfair it is. I was at their wedding, and the whole time I imagined having this butcher knife and aiming it at Peeta, blood spurting everywhere. But that wouldn't solve anything. She still wouldn't love me. And I try to avoid her and him as much as possible. I look at those two kids, and I don't see smiling faces or a sweet 'Hi, Gale!' at all. I see Katniss. And therefore, I see pain. Killing Peeta wouldn't solve anything. I'd probably get some thrill out of it, but that, just like everything else, would dissapear. It wouldn't change the fact that those kids were his, not mine. It wouldn't change that she didn't love me. No, not at all.

I haven't seen a sign of Katniss, those kids, or her husband, Peeta in years. They're probably dead now, for all I know. I'm a bitter old man, but I still think of them every day. And what could have been if Peeta hadn't come along. I wish I could show him, I wish I could tell him, the part of me that he destroyed. I know he has himself a pure heart of gold, so I think that at least he'd try to understand. But he'd never come close.

He's nothing like her. I'm just like her. I'm coming to the realization that maybe that's why she didn't want me, she wanted him. She wanted somebody unlike herself, somebody who was pure of soul and heart. She wanted a perfect man, and I wanted different. I loved her for both her flaws and her perfections. She loved him just for his perfection.

Just because Peeta is an angel, though, that doesn't prevent me from hating him any less. It's unfair. He didn't love her like I did - he just saw her one day and threw her a piece of bread. I got to know her, and through that, I fell in love with her. He took away from me the only woman I ever loved.

She wanted a baker, and I gave her a coal miner. She wanted bread, and I gave her meat. She wanted a promising future, and I gave her poverty. She wanted a baby, I gave her a bandit. She wanted an angel, I gave her a demon. She wanted a demon, and I gave her...me.

Every day, the bed is empty beside me. I always keep the door unlocked, hoping that in the morning, I'll wake up beside her. But I know that day will never come, and she'll never come to me. He'd never be like me. Because he'd never be bleak, he'd never have flaws, and most of all, he'd never be too much the same.

**Please review and favorite. Thank you for reading. I honestly despise PeetaxKatniss, but I don't mind if you do. Even if you are on Team Peeta, I still appreciate that you read.**


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